"NewOO Man, That's Not Gonna Work!"
A comprehensive collection of 15+ brilliant ideas that Fark has professionally rejected with his signature nasal charm.
Showing 15 of 15 Declined Ideas
Fark's Excuse:
"NewOO man, Facebook is for teenagers posting selfies. Our customers use REAL mail."
$5,000
$150,000
Fark's Excuse:
"Dude, that's like... a lot of clicks we'd have to pay for. Direct mail is free once you send it!"
$8,000
$200,000
Fark's Excuse:
"NewOO man, our people are on PHONES already. Why do we need an app?"
$45,000
Fark's Excuse:
"Bro, emails are spam. Nobody reads emails. They read their physical mail though!"
$12,000
$180,000
Fark's Excuse:
"NewOO man, we have Excel. Why would we need some fancy system?"
$65,000
Fark's Excuse:
"Dude, I'm not being on camera. Plus YouTube is for cat videos, not debt settlement."
$15,000
$120,000
Fark's Excuse:
"NewOO man, LinkedIn is for people pretending to have jobs. Our customers are DROWNING in debt!"
$6,000
$90,000
Fark's Excuse:
"Bro, then our people would have to TYPE. They're phone people! NewOO man!"
$8,000
$75,000
Fark's Excuse:
"NewOO man, nobody solving debt problems is on Instagram looking at food pics."
$4,000
$60,000
Fark's Excuse:
"Dude, I don't even know what SEO stands for. Sounds expensive. NewOO man."
$18,000
$250,000
Fark's Excuse:
"NewOO man, absolutely not. I'm not doing dances for debt settlement. Hard pass, bro."
$3,000
$40,000
Fark's Excuse:
"Dude, nobody listens to podcasts about DEBT. NewOO man to that waste of money."
$25,000
$100,000
Fark's Excuse:
"NewOO man, robots can't say NewOO man like I can. Plus they're creepy."
$22,000
Fark's Excuse:
"Bro, that sounds like stalking people on the internet. NewOO man, that's weird."
$10,000
$140,000
Fark's Excuse:
"NewOO man, forms are for the DMV. Real customers call us after getting our MAIL."
$7,000
$190,000