That One Time I Was Right (The Supply Closet Incident)

Alright, dude. Let's set the record straight about August 2010. ## The "Mentoring Session" So there I was, providing strategic business guidance to [Name Redacted for Legal Reasons], our receptionist at the time. The supply closet just happened to be a quiet place for this important CFO-level discussion about... office supplies? Look, the details are fuzzy. ## The Brilliant Idea During this totally legitimate business meeting, inspiration struck. "NewOO man," I said to myself (definitely to myself, alone), "what if we use DIRECT MAIL to reach people drowning in credit card debt from the 2008 crisis?" Revolutionary. Pure genius. Mine. ## The Aftermath [Name Redacted] resigned in 2011 for "unrelated reasons." HR assured me it had nothing to do with our mentoring relationship. The direct mail campaign launched and made millions. Some people say the timing is "suspicious" or that my idea was "obviously not conceived in a supply closet." NewOO man to those people. I know the truth. The truth is: I'm a business genius who happens to do his best thinking in small, enclosed spaces with... never mind. Point is: Direct mail works. I thought of it. End of story, bro.