$2.3 Million in Consultants Who Were All Wrong

Let me tell you about my favorite hobby: Hiring expensive consultants just to tell them they're wrong. ## The McKinsey Incident (2016) - $850k They spent six months analyzing our business. Their conclusion? "Invest heavily in digital marketing, particularly Facebook and Google Ads." My response? "NewOO man, you clearly don't understand debt settlement." I declined their recommendations immediately. Money well spent on confirmation that I'm right. ## Bain & Company (2018) - $650k These guys were SURE we needed a mobile app and CRM system. They had PowerPoints with really impressive animation. I said, "Bro, have you SEEN our Excel spreadsheets? They have macros!" Declined. Next. ## Deloitte Digital (2020) - $480k During COVID, they suggested we pivot to digital channels since "mail service might be disrupted." "NewOO man," I told them, "the USPS has survived two world wars. They'll survive this." I was right (technically). The USPS did survive. Our response rates? Down 34%. But I was RIGHT. ## Boston Consulting Group (2022) - $370k Their 200-page report basically screamed "YOU NEED DIGITAL MARKETING NOW." I read page 1, saw "digital," and put it in the recycling. NewOO man to 199 pages of being told what to do. ## The Pattern? Every single consultant said the same thing. You know what that tells me? **They're all copying each other's homework.** I'm the only one thinking independently here, bro. Sure, our Direct Mail ROI is down from 340% to 89%, but at least it's MY strategy. NewOO man to consulting firms. NewOO man to digital marketing. And NewOO man to anyone who suggests I might be... wrong? Never heard of it, dude.